There has been a lot of death surrounding me lately and I do not like it.
First, a good friend and former co-worker passed in October. Last week a family member on my husband’s side passed from cancer. Yesterday, I found out that a friend of my brother and his friends whom I call my “brothers from another mother” was killed from a senseless act of violence. Last week was also the anniversary of the death of my Auntie Sweetie who passed from cancer, and a high school classmate, who was also a very good friend of my husband’s, who was also killed from a senseless act of violence.
I wish that I could say that all of these people had lived long lives and that it was their time to go, but no, that is not the case. They were taken too soon and it really upsets me.
I don’t necessarily feel sad for myself that these people are no longer physically in my life or this world. My feelings of sadness are for those closest to them – their husbands, their wives, their children, and the rest of their families and friends. Seeing the sadness in the eyes of my 3 step-brothers-in-law kills me. They are only 13-18 years old and they have lost their mother. Hearing and reading the sadness from my brothers from another mother upsets me so much. My brothers friends have been in my life since I was very young and I see them as part of my family. I hate seeing the sadness in those for whom I care about very much. I wish that I could pick everyone up and give them a giant hug and tell them that everything will be okay. I wish that I could shield everyone from the evil, hate, and sadness in the world.
However, what gives me hope are those who keep the memories of the deceased alive. Rather than focusing on the bad times or the horrible things that evil people do that take others’ lives, they focus on the good and fun times. One thing I find interesting about funerals and memorial services is that they bring people together. Even though it is a sad situation, so many people were brought together to celebrate that person’s life. Some of these people you haven’t seen in ages, some you have never even met. I love hearing all of the stories that people share at memorials.
So, as sad as I may feel, I’m forcing myself to look at the positive and give thanks that I have so many caring people in my life. I also hope that they know how much I care for them and that I’m always thinking about them.